I was in trouble.
Sleepless nights. Panic attacks. Anxious soul.
…
Throughout all my life, I thought I lived by my values.
If you asked me what are the most important things in my life,
There was no doubt I would say health and relationships.
What I overlooked is that the previous statement wasn’t my reality for quite some time…
The only language I knew to speak was the language of money.
I truly lived that life.
Money. Maximal optimization for self-interest.
Profit. Self-centered hyperindividualism.
That’s what you get when the capitalist in you becomes a selfish, pleasure-seeking creature.
Don’t get me wrong.
Capitalism is beautiful, but only for the ones who can stay true to themselves, their roots, and family.
My greed for more rapidly accelerated, and my soul bore the consequences.
The problem became obvious when my words misaligned with my action.
Money is a great indicator of human flaws.
It shows your true face.
It cracks up your insecurities, opens up your childhood traumas, and exaggerates who you really are.
Having too much money or power too early is a sword with two blades.
Either it propels you for further success, or it makes you fall short on your own greed.
If you let money be a single ruler with vested power over your life, you are no more than its powerless vassal.
My goal shouldn't be making the most of it; my goal should be overcoming most of my insecurities, traumas, and limited beliefs.
My false beliefs
People don’t understand me when I speak in English. I cannot give an amazing public speech because English is not my first language. To fight this limited belief, I started this newsletter. And one day, I will launch a book and be on many podcasts and shows worldwide. Just to prove to myself that I can, not because I need external approval.
I am not attractive. I cannot be beautiful and fit as I was in my teenage years. To fight this, I am in the process of getting into the best form of my life. My goal is to look in the 40-is better than ever. I will walk on the beach & pool as a SEX bomb even tho I am not in the best shape right now.
I have no sense of movement and rhythm. I am tall, and tall people can’t have good moves since they are clumsy. To fight this, I will learn many dances, from pool dance and twerk to waltz and tango. I can, and I will dance coordinately & sensually even tho my moves are not flowing right now.
I have everything in me already I just have to repackage it and articulate it the right way. God gave me the ability to love and play. Why doubt my self-value, then?
Thanks God <3
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