Last night (29th June 2023) marked a new moment in my life cycle as a human individual.
My long-lasting high-school love, my boyfriend, asked me to start living together. The location is undecided, but the invitation is certain.
I am doing my best not to put too much importance on this event. Still, I wouldn’t be me if I were not going to overcomplicate and overthink this standard step in relationship development.
Some girls wait for the whole dating phase just for this moment to happen.
Here we have two subcategories:
The First Category of girls is the girls who are genuinely happy and excited about the closeness and sincerity they will be able to build with their partner. Life together comes naturally as a product of healthy relationships and true love.
The Second Category of girls thinks they finally “caught” their man and obligated him to marry her by living together. They believe they secured the jackpot and are settled for life only if he marries her. They are entering life together as an escape from the life they would live on their own rather than in mutual symbiosis towards a bright future. This is usually when the girl doesn’t work actively on her self-improvement and has no interest that can keep her occupied. Her idleness becomes a net negative for the relationship. In this situation, she is becoming a burden to her partner. She feels this. He feels this. Because she is not willing to put some effort into her character growth, she tries to outpace break up by imprisoning her partner into life together, hoping she can brainwash him into the consciousness-mating act. To put it simply, she wants to get pregnant so the child can be an unbreakable bond between the two of them. A couple that grows together stays together, which is not the case here.
Some girls don’t even think it’s a big thing since they don’t believe they will spend the rest of their lives together.
While for some partners, it’s normal to live together from the get-go.
I think this scenario is primarily present in the US since there is expected to leave the parents’ house as soon as possible. Therefore, these circumstances facilitate the couple’s decision to move together early.
None of these.
I am terrified.
Not because I am afraid of life with him or our upcoming future.
I am terrified to grow up.
The pessimist in me thinks getting old is scary.
And what indicates getting older than leaving your parent’s house to live separately with your partner?
Whenever I try to approach something logically, I fail immensely.
My brain cripples, nostalgia takes over clear thinking and thought complexity escalates.
For once in a life, a should accept what is inevitable.
Take responsibility for yourself.
Act in accordance with values.
Thrive on life’s difficulties.
If that’s not beautiful, what is it?
With love,
Angela <3