If somebody asked me when I was younger, I would start my days by asking myself, “why is life so hard?” I wouldn’t believe him. And definitely, I wouldn’t want to live that life.
I assumed that the description of my life would rest in just one word.
It’s fascinating to me that I am 22 and still struggling to understand what life is. The closest I get to explaining it is by deconstructing it into many smaller components.
In retrospect, this is what my life was made of by now:
Love
Laugh
Pain
Cry
Struggle
Failure
Anger
Excitement
Self-doubt
I guess I expected my life to be pure happiness: no struggle, pain, or negative emotions. I didn’t subscribe to the story of constant hardship when I was a young embryo. They sold me a fairytale of joy, laughter, and idleness.
But if life taught me one thing, that’s that pain is beautiful. And I should embrace it with wide-open hands. Without pain, laughter wouldn’t be enjoyable, happiness wouldn’t have meaning, and joy would desperately search for its core purpose. Contrast amplifies the beauty of emotion, underlines its presence, and highlights life’s purpose.
I was in constant search for happiness because I couldn't accept that this was the most life could offer.
Now I understand that we are born defaulted for happiness. We are happy at each and every moment, but the constant search for more blinds us from enjoying what we have. Now I know I am happy all the time by default. There is no need for me to stress. Just slow down and acknowledge it.
If this isn’t happiness, what is it?
Love you all,
Andela <3