I had never done anything normal in my life.
I try to have some order, impose self-boundaries, and establish “normal steps I have to go throughout life,” but I’ve never been able to follow any of them. It all sounds so normal… average. And my biggest fear is to live an average life.
Something in me always strives for exponentiality.
To live an exponential life is to be disciplined and boring. But before you start your journey of falling in love with boredom and practicing strict discipline, you must know that you have indoctrinated the right mindset. That you broke all the false beliefs that kept you imprisoned and petty. Then and only then, the thing that will bring you the most exponential success is to be unapologetically boring, aka disciplined.
You might ask, what is so exponential in living a disciplined life?
Isn’t that boring?
How is even possible to be exponential if you are boring?
Let me tell you something.
The average person is the least disciplined person on the spectrum of consistency.
The average person lives an extremely stressful life since her perception of reality is constantly changing. She doesn’t control the day. Day controls her.
What she strives for is deep stability in her life. And that’s everything that she doesn’t have. She thinks some external events can solve her lack of fulfillment and increased stress while her whole being strives for STABILITY.
And what creates stability better than boring discipline enhanced with inner peace?
When I learned the concept of edging, it helped me understand myself better.
The concept of edging means that you are always pushing out of your comfort zone but to the point where you won’t bear any consequences. If you go too far, you must recover because your system burns rapidly when thrown into the unknown. The whole point of edging is to keep expanding and growing your capacity without overstepping boundaries and getting overwhelmed. When you go too far out of your comfort zone or stay there for too long, you burn out whilst experiencing the consequences of rapid expansion.
That’s the price you will have to pay for an exponential life.
Nothing will be easy or ordinary.
And each extreme wears a price tag that has to be paid.
What I’ve been doing all these years is I will notice I am in my comfort zone. Then, instead of expanding my capacities slowly, I will find the most extreme position I can see myself in and throw myself there without the possibility of returning. Unconsciously, I always made sure I went the furthest I could from the starting point and that there was no chance of returning once I was there.
So not only was I overwhelmed, I was overwhelmed all the time without a chance to go back. Usually, after quite some time experiencing intense pressure, you start adapting, but after a long period under extreme pressure, you collapse. After collapsing, you realize you can’t help yourself anymore and that you need repair.
When the healing process takes place, you ask yourself, what took you so long to realize you have a problem?
After being under pressure for so long, you are used to it. It becomes your new normal. And normal then becomes so strange, uncomfortable, and slow. You feel guilt and shame for operating at such a “low frequency.” You get addicted to constantly moving forward. You can’t distinguish healthy from unhealthy; what’s good for you, what’s not, and when too much pressure becomes contra-productive. You become addicted to stress. Even when nothing is happening, you are still anxious.
Some people don’t push enough, so they always stay in this field of unachieved potential. Either they operate from fear, or their ambitions are too small. They would rather enjoy the everyday mundane than try to achieve big things in their lifetime.
Now, I raised my base bar higher so that when I start ricocheting and going out of my comfort zone (upper expansion), extremes don’t feel that far, and they don’t cause such damage that I have to recover from. I raised a bar and kept it expanding, 1% higher each day while reaching for extremes less often.
I expand, then consolidate, raising my bar higher each time while emphasizing proper recovery.
Remember:
What do you guys think of this?
Talk to you soon.
With love,
Angela <3'
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